Learning Differences and Backlash

I really enjoyed the website Understood.org. One of the things that children's librarians will encounter are kids with differences. One in four children born in the US is at risk for developmental delay (speech pathology issues, Autism Spectrum Disorder, dyslexia, etc.). Early detection and diagnosis, while more frequent than it was, is still the exception rather than the rule. For that reason, we need to be careful with how we interact and what we say to parents of children who are, to borrow a term from my old teaching buddy, "strange rangers." 

It's particularly important to never attempt to label or diagnose a child. Even if the kid is so hyperactive he appears to be vibrating, do not ask the parent if he is ADHD. While it might be true, there is a stigma attached to kids who are seen as different. Sometimes, that stigma comes from the parents themselves, who see some kind of diagnosis as a sign that their child is somehow "broken." This leads to a lot of anger and denial aimed straight back at you, particularly if you are not the first person to mention it.

If there is clearly something different about a child and it affects the needs of the child as far as interaction and environment, the best thing you can possibly say to a parent is the open-ended, non-judgmental question, "What can you tell me about Johnny?" Parents aren't dumb. Most know their kid is different. Rather than engendering the wrath of the Apache Attack Helicopter Parent, Mom or Dad will usually smile knowingly and tell you everything you need to know about how to help the child without being on the defensive.